Art? Yup, it’s a strange fruit. Gone it seems are the days when a nicely drawn picture is considered art and in its place is an empty room in which a light goes on and off, or a big rock - not actually sculptured into anything - literally it’s just a rock. Pretentious modern art has now paved the way for the pretentious video game. Enter N+, which I can only imagine the Emperor was playing as he sat in his new clothes.

N+ started life as N, a free flash game that you’ve probably played and forgotten. N+ tweaks the original ideas and adds a ton of content. If you’re wondering if N+ controls like a flash game, then I can confirm that it does. You take control of a ninja and the simple aim is to hit a switch and get through a door. Each level is made up of 5 different rooms. Obviously, you don’t get a clean run, and have many obstacles to overcome, this is where being a ninja comes into play. Simply by using the left stick to move and the A button to jump you can perform several different tricks. Wall jumping, wall sliding and a really long running jump are here and also the ability to control the movement of your ninja in mid air. You’re battling a timer, which can be refilled by collecting golden nuggets that are spread sporadically throughout each level. Said timer carries over through each of the five rooms that make up one level. Some rooms are admittedly frustrating, whilst others are a piece of cake. This somewhat remains the same throughout. The game does gradually get more difficult, but easy rooms are thrown in to prevent insanity.

What gets me is the sheer lack of personality of N+. It’s just really dull and gearing up any kind of enthusiasm to play it, is a chore. Each room does present a different challenge, but because everything is so sterile I was left scratching my head thinking; can I really be bothered to even attempt this? Level after level of a game that just doesn’t seem worthy of the title ’A game’ - kind of like Buckaroo and Doughnutters. Sure, it’s a distraction and will pass a bit of time, but Super Mario World it aint. The visuals are part of the dullness. You could describe them as post modern minimalist - which when translated into a language everyone can understand means, they’re terrible. It actually feels like you’re running through the Inland Revenue’s headquarters, which to be fair, obviously gives you desire to get through that door as quickly as possible, but still. Musically, it also doesn’t disappoint - if you’re Patrick Bateman! Seriously, electro-beat trash is fine and dandy - if you’re groundhog day is 1987.

N+ comes with a variety of online modes; Co-op, Survival and Race. Co-op gives you the option of teaming up with someone to complete the single player levels or an MP mode which has you working with someone against other teams in exclusive online levels. Survival mode is your standard free for all death match and Race has you competing with others, with the winner the player that finishes a set of levels first, obviously. With the single player visuals already offering you a ninja that’s tiny, multiplayer sees your ninja shrink some more so you can see what all players are doing. This left me squinting. There’s also lag issues. Seeing your partner standing near a mine will often turn into your partner being blown up by said mine - for no other reason than erm….well, y’know. Frustrating to say the least.

Wrapping up the package is a level designer. You can create your very own levels and challenge your friends to complete them. Now, I’ve written a lot of reviews for Wonderwallweb and I like to think you, the reader and me, the reviewer, know each other quite well, hell, I’ve even had an email from some crackpot wanting to get jiggy with my words, anyhoo….. I make it no secret that I loathe ‘create’ modes; be it create a wrestler, create a skater, create a golfer and now create a level. The level designer is simple enough to use and I’m sure is a lot of fun for some folks, but I get no enjoyment out of it. It’s like buying a new car that comes as a flatpack - what the hell!? If I buy a game or at least spend my time downloading it, I don’t want to faff around creating the game I want (have) to play - I just want to get down to it and play.

N+ gave me very little satisfaction, I in fact struggled to prep myself up to continue to play it. It feels like a flash game - because it is a flash game. Nothing is of course wrong with flash games - played on your PC - to waste 5 minutes. But I can’t recommend with clear conscience people shell out 800 MS points to play one on the Xbox. This very is unconvincing, personally I would rather go play some free online poker.